December 31, 2015
Dear 30 year old Me,
It's probably New Year's Eve again and I wish I could say I knew where you are when you're reading this, but if there's anything I've learned this year (and the past four years) it's that life is unpredictable. And no matter how well I plan, no matter what choice I make, life will always find a way to take a shit on my face or bring me something incredible but generally, life will do what it wants to. So maybe you're in Arizona which would be great because I love Arizona. But maybe not. Maybe you've finally moved to New York or the beach like I've always wanted, or London like I've been dreaming of recently.
Life this year has been good. Do you remember? It's been so good. It's been busy; busier than I've been in a long time, but so much better than it's been in a while. So many new things have started happening, and you should be proud of who I am, how much I've figured out, and how much fun I've had. I went on a vacation! I haven't done that in years! And with friends some that I've had forever, and some that just feel like I've known forever. I went on roller coasters, like the really scary ones, and didn't die! I pushed the limits of my comfort level, tried new things, one of which led to a really fun first half of the year followed by a not so fun breakup, but even that was more than I was expecting last New Year. I tried to meet new people, got fired for the first time ever, started really believing I can write and did write. A lot. So much blogging and playwriting this year. I'm acting, and learning improv, I'm reading things I really enjoy, I'm throwing all of my time at something I'm passionate about.
Where are you? What's happened between then and now? You're 30. It's good right? It's as good as I think it's going to be, right? Because my expectations are a little high, but that's nothing new. And it probably won't ever change. Or maybe it has, I don't know. I kind of hope not, because as upsetting as it can be to realize that not everyone cares the same way I do, they care in their own way and if they're allowed to do that, I'm allowed to feel big feelings. I hope you've let yourself feel really big feelings. I hope you're excited about the opportunities that are within your reach and that you keep seeking out ones that are beyond it. I hope you've decided to really trust people --that you've continued to listen to your instincts, but that you are surrounded by people who are worth being honest with, like I am now. I also hope you've found some permanence and stability. It's definitely time and you deserve it. I hope you ran towards this life I want and not been discouraged. I hope you've gotten over your commitment issues and learned to protect your feelings a bit better than I do. I hope you're less afraid to fail and are braver than I am. I hope you're looking forward to the coming year as much as I am looking forward to 2016 right now. I hope you've kept moving forward and that you're still curious about everything. I hope you laugh every day and actually cry when you need to. I hope you know everything will be ok.
I hope, above all else, that you are happy. That you're hopeful. That you're grateful to be alive and still so busy.
What will next year be like? Let's see shall we?
Love, 29 year old Me
It's probably New Year's Eve again and I wish I could say I knew where you are when you're reading this, but if there's anything I've learned this year (and the past four years) it's that life is unpredictable. And no matter how well I plan, no matter what choice I make, life will always find a way to take a shit on my face or bring me something incredible but generally, life will do what it wants to. So maybe you're in Arizona which would be great because I love Arizona. But maybe not. Maybe you've finally moved to New York or the beach like I've always wanted, or London like I've been dreaming of recently.
Life this year has been good. Do you remember? It's been so good. It's been busy; busier than I've been in a long time, but so much better than it's been in a while. So many new things have started happening, and you should be proud of who I am, how much I've figured out, and how much fun I've had. I went on a vacation! I haven't done that in years! And with friends some that I've had forever, and some that just feel like I've known forever. I went on roller coasters, like the really scary ones, and didn't die! I pushed the limits of my comfort level, tried new things, one of which led to a really fun first half of the year followed by a not so fun breakup, but even that was more than I was expecting last New Year. I tried to meet new people, got fired for the first time ever, started really believing I can write and did write. A lot. So much blogging and playwriting this year. I'm acting, and learning improv, I'm reading things I really enjoy, I'm throwing all of my time at something I'm passionate about.
Where are you? What's happened between then and now? You're 30. It's good right? It's as good as I think it's going to be, right? Because my expectations are a little high, but that's nothing new. And it probably won't ever change. Or maybe it has, I don't know. I kind of hope not, because as upsetting as it can be to realize that not everyone cares the same way I do, they care in their own way and if they're allowed to do that, I'm allowed to feel big feelings. I hope you've let yourself feel really big feelings. I hope you're excited about the opportunities that are within your reach and that you keep seeking out ones that are beyond it. I hope you've decided to really trust people --that you've continued to listen to your instincts, but that you are surrounded by people who are worth being honest with, like I am now. I also hope you've found some permanence and stability. It's definitely time and you deserve it. I hope you ran towards this life I want and not been discouraged. I hope you've gotten over your commitment issues and learned to protect your feelings a bit better than I do. I hope you're less afraid to fail and are braver than I am. I hope you're looking forward to the coming year as much as I am looking forward to 2016 right now. I hope you've kept moving forward and that you're still curious about everything. I hope you laugh every day and actually cry when you need to. I hope you know everything will be ok.
I hope, above all else, that you are happy. That you're hopeful. That you're grateful to be alive and still so busy.
What will next year be like? Let's see shall we?
Love, 29 year old Me
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