Faking It

I read an article at the beginning of the summer about a bucket list single girls could totally do. The author's reasoning for creating the list (because she's a puppy and needs to be with other people constantly) were not relatable. However, it looked like so much fun. And so I set out the accomplish a couple of things on the bucket list and created my own along the way. The list isn't epic. Nowhere on it is things like jump off a mountain (not on my lifetime bucket list) or live in London for a year (definitely on my lifetime bucket list), but rather was comprised of simple things. Simple, everyday, summery things that I could do. Because, now is my time and I wanted a list of things I could see the benefits from immediately. So I did. I didn't do all of them, but a lot. The point was never to do the whole list. I wanted to do something different and make it a summer to remember. Little did I know that a ton of other things would definitely add to that, but I w...

Today, someone called me "basic." I'm pretty sure it was a joke, but I don't really know this person very well, but if you know me, you'll know that I don't really care. This is a term that's been thrown around for years and I'll be honest, I'm not sure what it means. According to my sister, who knows everything, "it just means kind of bland or a trend follower... whatever is popular you like regardless of whether you actually like it or not." That's definitely not me. Mainly because I'm so out of touch I never know what's popular to begin with. How can I just follow the trends if I am blissfully unaware of what they are. Example, I'm considering buying a bowler hat and dressing in manner of Diane Keaton circa "Annie Hall" to present. Probably no ties though, I haven't really decided. I understand irony. I can appreciate teasing your friends, but let's be clear, this is an insult. So in the sp...

I've changed things up around here! It's been a while since I've blogged and it's been a strange couple of years for me. It's been a lot of trying to figure myself out and part of that has been trying new things, or trying old things again. But through it all, it feels like I'm faking it. One of the pieces of advice I give myself and anyone who needs it is, "fake it until it's real" meaning if you're not confident, pretend you are until one day you wake up and you actually are confident. Pretend you know things you know you don't. It's about avoiding a self-fulfilling prophecy, some kind of lie you or someone else has told you like "you're stupid" or "you can't do that." And I've been faking it a lot, this year especially. I'm not entirely sure where to start, or if I'll try and work all of that out here, but I do want to write about my summer. And a bunch of new friends of mine have encouraged ...

Apparently, it began as a joke; this PSA for bitchy resting face like it’s a medical problem, but millions of people have admitted to having this problem and now it’s my turn. I have bitchy resting face. And I know this because people tell me I do. They say it right to my bitch face. The first time I remember being made aware of how horrible my face is, I was 13. For anyone just joining a civilized society, age 13 is the peak of girl’s self-esteem. You never feel better about how weird your body is getting, or more confident in every thing you say or do, the way you do when you’re 13. My youth pastor took it upon himself to let me know how frightening I was and told me one night at church. After youth group, with all of my friends within ear shot, he told me that I had “a mean face.” Looking back at myself, I probably wasn’t as weird as I felt, but I wasn’t so comfortable with myself that I could brush off a comment like that. A mean face. A mean face? What the fuck? I re...

  I'm getting ready to start a new job that involves teaching kids. Adults too, but a lot of levels involving kids. I've never taught kids before and I'm nervous about it, so I've been doing what I always do when I'm nervous which is talk to my parents. They have great insight, my Mom and Dad. And they've been telling me stories about when my sisters and me were young and learning to read. I'm teaching reading, so you know that it's germane. And my Mom just told me a story about the time when I was in kindergarten and the teacher requested I learn to use scissors. I was able to enter school at the age of 4 because I could read and write but I couldn't use scissors apparently. I guess I was busy doing other things, like learning to swim and tie a shoelace, dancing, playing soccer, learning to sew, but I never did pick up a pair of scissors on my own.   And it was only a few short years later, when I was in third grade, that I would be falsely accuse...

I don't throw away magazines. I actually never have. Not at the time, you'll see what I mean just hang on... And for some reason lately it's started to make me think. I say "for some reason" like I don't know the reason, I have a basket full of magazines but haven't gotten around to buying a new basket in a few years (two. See? Not that bad...) so the rest of them sit next to the magazine basket, on the floor in front of my couch, on the trunk at the foot of my bed, at my kitchen table, in my backpack. And until last week were piled precariously high on top of the magazine basket. I knew I had a lot of books. They were literally everywhere. I put a bunch under my couch to keep them out from under foot because I ran out of room on the bar area. I live in an apartment so my kitchen and living room are the same room but there's a wall with a counter that I call the "bar area" because it sounds better than "wall with a counter" ar...

I LOVE to read! LOVE! I have mentioned this before... I read a lot all the time, it's part and parcel with being in academia. Sometimes it's awesome and sometimes it makes you want to claw your eyeballs out and mail them to said boring researcher. I try to read for myself during the school year because I have to do things for myself. Not just going to the movies and getting pedicures every 6 weeks, although I do that as well. But something that I love in the very depths of my soul. I love to read. And if I don't do it for fun every now and then I feel like part of me will disappear. And no judgement on people who don't. Don't read me saying that. I will never be able to understand what it's like to not enjoy reading because it's always been my favorite thing to do. Both of my parents like to read and it was a hobby that was encouraged. I got into school when I was 4 years old because I could read. It makes me sad to think that the world of books is not ...