Faking It

I had a lot of favorite books when I was a kid (read that as every book I picked up was a favorite), but I read one about a girl who goes to visit her grandma and goes through all of her old grandma stuff but one of her favorite things to do is go through the button basket. This grandma kept a basket full of buttons that had fallen off of garments or were used to make certain pieces. The book was all about the grandma telling the stories associated with the buttons and I just loved it. I was so captivated with those stories. I wanted a button basket.   Confession: I haven't thrown away a button ever. Oh, don't get me wrong, that doesn't mean I have a cute button basket with lots of great stories attached to them. No, I have random buttons and the buttons in bags just everywhere. There's at least one in every drawer. I'm not even going to get into what my jewelry box looks like. The whole point of the grandma button basket was to tell great stories about the ...

By now, I'm sure you all know that I am a rebel. I mean, obviously. There are plenty of social mores that I do subscribe to, but if I want to read a bit of a book before I buy it, I'm going to pop a squat in the aisle and read it right there and to hell with the consequences (stink eye from Barnes and Noble personnel usually). And yesterday, it was a friends birthday and I realize that I never fully engage in birthday festivities, no matter how much I love the person/birthdays. Confession: I never sing "Happy Birthday" with the rest of the group. I hate the 'Happy Birthday' song. I love birthdays, but cannot wait for the singing part to be over. Well, most of the time. See, when it's my birthday I only like when my family sings to me, because my Mom puts so much effort into it like she's trying to rally the troops, and my sisters sing in different octaves. It's just lovely. But when other people sing to me on my birthday, I sit awkwardly and st...

I don't cook a lot. I know how to make basic things, eggs, I can cook meat even though I don't eat it; but I never had time when I first moved out on my own because I was in grad school. I lived on PB&J and soup. But sometime last year, I figured out how to make sauce. Like really good pasta sauces and now I consider myself a great cook. I figured out how to do one thing and am suddenly genius in the kitchen! I was always a good baker. Baking has always made sense to me, probably because I have a deep emotional connection with cupcakes. I make incredible cheesecakes, I'm trying really hard to step up my cake game and am trying fancy frosting techniques, I make caramel and toffee from scratch! Once, I made Seven Layer cookies that an Italian family from New Jersey loved! Even so, some things baking just elude me. I cannot for the life of me make a meringue of any kind! I'm terrified to even attempt macarons, but I did try to make something funny for my birthday ...

A friend of mine wore a pair of sunglasses where the lenses were in the shape of a star or something like that, and someone told her she couldn't pull them off, which was a) mean, no one wants your unsolicited opinion, and 2) not true, she can totally rock those! And she said that I wear heart shaped sunglasses, and they supposedly said, "that's because Megan has style." Confession: I have no idea if I dress my age. I was raised by a tomboy Mother who is naturally beautiful. She taught me the basics and I've figured out the rest on my own through experimentation (not always successful...sigh...) I love doing my hair, crazy makeup, lots of lipstick, high heels, accessories, and most of it is probably not age appropriate. When do you stop wearing big dangly earrings? When are you supposed to keep your hair short? I already wear smokey eyes during the day--yesterday I was trying out the makeup for a show I'm working on and walked around life with electric blu...

Most of the time, I like being me. I'm wandering through life, figuring it out, and for the most part I think I'm doing ok. There are some things that I'd love to change, like how I never carry cash and end up using my credit card to buy a pack of gum. I don't know. Maybe that's charming. Probably not. There are plenty of people I try to be already; my Mom, my Nana. I'll never be kind or wise like them, but if I get close I'll be a pretty good person. So who else could I be? Confession: I would switch places with Mindy Kaling for the week. If I could Freaky Friday  this thing and trade places with Mindy Kaling I'd have so much fun, and probably work harder than I ever had in my whole life. She's an actor, showrunner and writer, and editor of her show. That's three people's jobs and she does it all! And she writes books, does other movies, probably has friends, and has the most amazing fashion sense. I think I'd have a great tim...

There's a lot I don't understand. The world is big and ridiculous, and there are some things I'll never admit I don't understand (Beer. I always get an oaky hint of...alcohol), and things I should probably not admit but do anyway ... Then there are things no one should understand like people who don't like to read, not washing your hands after going to the bathroom, Math. There's really no way I can come up with an exhaustive list, but I thought I'd give it the old college try this Confession Tuesday. Confession: I don't understand... 1. Why the "h" in front of the word "herb" is silent. Why? No one's going to get confused! If you're making a salad and talking about the herbs  they're not going to wonder if someone named "Herb" is going to show up. NO ONE IS GOING TO BE CONFUSED! 2. Bitcoins. Are these bitcoins ? 3. Crossfit. Is it a cult? 4. Frienemies. Why is this a thing? Who has the time and ener...

This is one of those times I was talking about! One of those times when writing two blogs means one suffers a bit. I feel like I have nothing for you, so rather than give you simply a Confession Two-fers-day or something like it, I'm going to confess something AND tell you a story. Confession: I have weird thoughts. Throwback Confession Tuesday! Why not right? I'm breaking all the rules today because I'm a free spirit. So I have really weird thoughts (as you know: these ones and these ), and when I think of the worst ways to die, one way immediately springs to mind. And that is, those big balls that you get in and run on water inside of. What are those called? I could google it... I don't want to, we'll never know. Anyway, so my fear is that once I get inside of the big plastic ball, something will go wrong, because that's what happens when you think you can walk on water. It'll collapse and then I'll suffocate because I'll be trapped insi...

Is there anything better than having a crush on someone? I submit to you, there is not. It's exciting and terrifying all at the same time. I love having a crush on someone. Which is probably why I do it all the time. I do. I crush on people for long periods of time, for a few minutes at a time, my friends, complete strangers I see in the mall... life is one big crush over here. What I've learned, is that there are lots of different kinds of crushes you can have. And we all remember our very first crush, but of different kinds? I'm not even sure I do (and I remember everything), so let's talk about feelings. And categorize them! The Friend Crush.  Letting yourself get close to someone is huge! You listen to their stories, you trust them with your secrets, you invade their space and allow them to do the same. Having friends that you're just infatuated with is a great thing!   Confession: My first friend crush (that I remember) was on my friend Destinee.  The r...

This one time in 2003, I got into a huge fight, with my boyfriend, over who sang "Brown Eyed Girl." We were driving around in my purple Dodge Neon, screaming at each other over whether it was Jimmy Buffett or Van Morrison. A bit of context: I had downloaded it and put it on a CD. The name on the download, was Jimmy Morrison (that's not even a real person--I mean, maybe, but he wasn't singing "Brown Eyed Girl" on that cd is what I'm saying), and this guy was convinced that it was Jimmy Buffett. Not only convinced, but unwilling to acquiesce to the fact that other artists sang that song. Confession: It was the most absurd fight I've ever been in. He kept trying to tell me that I was embarrassed because I made a mistake and that was why I was so adamant it was Van Morrison. It didn't matter! It didn't matter who sang the song! But I was not about to give up the cause to that guy. That guy who refused to acknowledge that other singers m...

Everyone talks about words that give them the creeps, and I can never think of any answer to that question. I'm sure there are some, but they just aren't sitting on the surface. BUT, there is a sound. A sound that I totally hate. A sound that makes me lose focus and basically go dead in the brain for the entire time it's on. Confession: I hate the sound of the vacuum cleaner. I need to put my headphones on and listen to really loud music whenever I, or anyone around me, vacuums. My sister will harmonize with the buzzy sound which makes it so much worse, if you can believe that. The sound of the vacuum, I don't know if it's the pitch or the vibration (I feel it vibrate in my ears!), but it gets inside my head and makes me go crazy. I imagine it to be the sound you hear as you use your bare hands to murder someone. Divulge! *  What sounds do you hate?! Do they make you want to lash out irrationally or tear your feet off so you can stuff them in your ears?! Jus...

When I was a little girl I had a pair of "click clack" shoes. Basically, shoes that I wore to church or with my fancy outfits that made the "click clack" noise on a hard surface. It was love. And it will always be, because true love lasts a lifetime. I get asked, pretty regularly, how many pairs of shoes I own. I have enough shoes, that I could wear a different pair for every day of the week. I have so many pairs, that friends I've had forever still say, "I haven't seen those before." Confession: I honestly have no idea how many pairs of shoes I have. But I love each of them as if I did. I could count them, but I think women should be allowed to have secrets (plus the number is just really big...). I used to be very regimented; my shoes had to match my shirt. Always. But now, I don't know I guess I'm just more whimsical? Maybe just more fashionable? No, that can't be it. I just know what I want to look like most of the time....

There are so many amazing things to see in the world. I struggle thinking of specific places I want to visit, because I really just want to see things and have experiences. Confession: If I ever get the chance to travel to wherever I want, these are the things I want to see. 1. The tulip fields in the Netherlands . Tulips are my favorite flower and seeing so many of them all at once would probably make me pass out. 2. Libreria Acqua Alta in Venice, Italy.  The owner keeps the books in gondolas and in bathtubs. Old and water damaged books create stairs and furniture. I have to see that. 3. Old Jewish Cemetery in Prague in the Czech Republic.  This graveyard has been in use since the 15th Century and there are so many people buried there, the graves are layered and stacked on top of each other. There are 12, 000 visible graves, but no one knows how many people are actually buried there. 4. Berner Strausse in Berlin, Germany. My sister studied abroa...

It's "fers-day"! A very special Confession Sunday, if you will. It's been a year. One whole year since I first walked through Brelby's doors, not as a patron, but as someone who'd been manipulated into auditioning (you thought I was going to say artist didn't you? Sucker). Shelby's constant mass invitations to audition were easy enough to ignore until one day I got a personal message bribing me with all my favorite things, chocolate, wine, and shoes, if I would go to the callbacks for this musical they were doing. My friend asked me to do her a favor. So I went. And I got cast. My first role in 10 years. And I haven't left yet. Confession: I was determined not to make any friends when I went to Brelby. I was there to do Shelby a favor, but if I'm being honest, I wanted to do it. I thought it would be fun to get back into theater and playing at all that, but I was there for Shelby. I wasn't going to try to get to know anyone there....

I've been challenged to come up with a serious confession Tuesday, some kind of deep intimate topic. Today is not that day. Personally, I think they're all serious, but apparently not. So instead, it's time for another CONFESSION TWO-FERS-DAY!!! This one is, admittedly, ridiculous. It impacts me all the time, everyday, and it just embarrasses me. Confession: I think "North" is in front of me.  Whatever way I'm facing is North. I thought that when I was a kid and it's stuck with me. I don't even know if I can explain this in a way that will make sense to normal people who understand North is not in front of them. Because even when I try to reposition myself in the world and think "where is Flagstaff?" or "in which direction is Mexico?" (I try to choose nearby places rather than big places like Canada. Canada's everywhere, I don't know where North is based on Canada...Mexico's right next door, it's just di...

I'm terrified of sharks, which is a real thing to be afraid of. However, in my case, it's probably unwarranted, and by probably I mean, it's completely unwarranted. I wish I knew how and when it started; I feel like it was one of two things. Either going to see educational IMAX movies  or trying to watch Jaws when I was 13. I'd never seen a shark in real life until we went to Sea World and I was forced to walk through that horrible shark tunnel that they have which is enough to scare the crap out of anyone. Seriously? Whose idea was that? Because I also saw Free Willy  so I know how thin your glass is Sea World. But I've never been out in the ocean and had a near miss with a shark. I've never even seen one from the deck of a boat. I don't live near any bodies of water. I've lived my entire life, more or less, in the center of two different countries. And yet. Not only do I have a fear of sharks, I have a totally irrational fear of sharks. Confessio...

I am very aware of what my body looks like and I'm perfectly fine with me. It comes from being an incredibly overconfident child who grew into an adult who just doesn't care if anyone else likes it. But there is one thing I hate about my body. Confession: I have a tooth with a "defect" and I hate it. It's not even a thing. I've never even seen it! But every time I go to the Dentist they look at it and freak out like it's a new strange alien thing that no one's ever seen before! The way it's been described to me is that I have a tooth with it's own tooth. The way it feels is like how the bottom of your canine (cuspid--the pointy one) feels except on the side of one of my molars. It always goes down the same way: Tech notices horrible mangled tooth. Tech pokes at it with scrapey dental tool. Tech: Does that hurt? Me: No. Tech scrapes at it with scrapey dental tool. Me: Well now it hurts. Tech: Let me get the Doctor. Me: Don...

I have a lot of passions. There are so many things that I love and will love until I die. Most people think it's just shoes, but that's because I literally wear that passion. I'm not as loud about things I love as some people, so let's change that on this lovely Confession Tuesday. When I was a kid I loved Disney. To this day I LOVE Disney but I have a very vivid memory of watching a Disney special, Mickey's Happy Valentine Special (I also love all things Valentine's Day) on my birthday. The special was split up into segments and used a lot of popular songs of the time behind the clips of different Disney shows or movies. They used "The Power of Love" by Huey Lewis and the News which automatically made it the most romantic movie in history. But then "Tell It To My Heart" by Taylor Dayne came on. Confession of 3-year-old me: This is the most beautiful song I have ever heard. And it was my favorite song as a kid. I have lots of embarras...

Parenthood ended last week .  I DVRed the finale and watched it the next day. I had to! It was on for 6 seasons and now it's over. I thought they did a great job with the last one, but I don't really know for sure because I never watched any of the other episodes. Confession: I watch the series finales of shows I've never bothered to watch. My sister watched  Parenthood  from start to finish and she told me about it whenever I would ask questions based on the previews I saw during the week. And I asked her a lot of questions. The previews were compelling. Not compelling enough to get me to sit down and watch the show, but then again, I didn't have to because I basically made her tell me the entire plot. I accidentally watched one episode--I left the t.v. on while I was studying, but that and the finale are the only episodes I've seen. I'm not sure why I do this. Because I do watch some shows from start to finish and I usually get a serious emotional atta...

I hate working out. If it weren't for my overactive imagination, I would weigh 900 lbs. I eat fairly healthy (if there are cupcakes or popcorn I'll eat all of them, but that's a work in progress thing. Maybe related to my age...hmmm...do you think eating all of someone else's birthday cupcakes and not asking if anyone else wanted the last one is a thing of youth? Will I grow up and out of that in my 30's? That seems too soon...maybe in my 50's? I might have kids by then, maybe I'd share with them. No, you're right, I especially wouldn't share with them. They get everything else, why should they have my cupcakes I made for them on their birthday? What were we talking about?) I eat fairly healthy. I drink plenty of water, have a naturally low-sodium diet because I'm a vegetarian (unless you count popcorn, but it's corn and that is a vegetable so no we can't count popcorn), I eat lots of fruit and granola, eating really isn't the pro...

IT'S CONFESSION TWO-FERS-DAY!!! I know. I know!! You all loved it so much last time and were wondering when it was coming back. Well here it is my little peach pits! One Tuesday. Two Confessions. I was hanging out with some friends a few weeks ago and we watched a few episodes of 30 Rock,  and the one   where Liz Lemon starts choking came on. Now, as a single woman who lives alone (just like Liz Lemon! I'm basically Tina Fey, guys!) I know exactly what to do in that situation, so I started yelling, "fall on the counter!" because that's what you do! There are just things you need to know to keep yourself alive. I love living alone, I just do. It doesn't scare me to be alone; I need my space, lots of quiet, and I like being by myself. I'm alone, but never lonely. And yet... Confession: I am afraid of living alone for two very good reasons: choking and undies.  Choking to death is a legitimate concern! It is a very serious fear that I have and only ...