Birthday Fail Confessions
Today's my Birthday. I love my Birthday. And it's Tuesday. So how about a confession?
Birthday Fail Confession: I always try to do new things but if we know anything, it's that I will find some way to mess it up.
Like the year that I wanted to go swimming and ignored my mom... you know, like a moron... when she told me not to mix friends and invited both my group of friends from school and my group of friends from church who refused to mix together and I ended up swimming by myself.
Or when I turned 25 and hosted a dinner at my house and wanted to make whoopies pies because I thought it would be a funny dessert. But I set the whoopie pies on fire... twice. I only had wax paper and thought that would be fine. It wasn't. And after I botched the first batch thought, "let's try that again!" you know... like a moron. The flames were really big and my tiny apartment was instantly full of smoke. But the smoke detectors never went off...
Or this year. I'm 31. I loved being 30. I think all of my 30's are going to be really great. I have high hopes. But I kicked it off in style by wearing a dress with an open back--not something I usually do because I have to keep my giant boobs strapped in or someone could loose an eye. But I thought, "Why not? You can figure this out." you know... like a moron. So I looked for bralettes, thought about wearing a sweater, but decided, "No." I always wear sweaters, and it doesn't seem like a risky dress to a lot of people but I'm self-conscious about a lot of things including the size of my breasts and the way my back looks in the light of day. But I decided I would try and tape my boobs. And if you've been keeping up you should be able to guess that it just didn't go well. One was all right. The other... not so much. But I have nice friends who didn't make me feel weird about sagging at brunch and the older I get, the more I realize that's really all I need. Good people who let me be who I am and don't comment on it.
I bought another dress to wear today... it's a wrap dress. It has flowers all over it, which is an aesthetic I'm into right now. It's really pretty. It caught the wind and blew open while I was walking out to the parking lot for lunch. I Marilyn Monroed an entire parking lot.
Two fails. One Birthday.
Here's to 31. I really hope it's as good to me as 30 was.
Birthday Fail Confession: I always try to do new things but if we know anything, it's that I will find some way to mess it up.
Like the year that I wanted to go swimming and ignored my mom... you know, like a moron... when she told me not to mix friends and invited both my group of friends from school and my group of friends from church who refused to mix together and I ended up swimming by myself.
Or when I turned 25 and hosted a dinner at my house and wanted to make whoopies pies because I thought it would be a funny dessert. But I set the whoopie pies on fire... twice. I only had wax paper and thought that would be fine. It wasn't. And after I botched the first batch thought, "let's try that again!" you know... like a moron. The flames were really big and my tiny apartment was instantly full of smoke. But the smoke detectors never went off...
Or this year. I'm 31. I loved being 30. I think all of my 30's are going to be really great. I have high hopes. But I kicked it off in style by wearing a dress with an open back--not something I usually do because I have to keep my giant boobs strapped in or someone could loose an eye. But I thought, "Why not? You can figure this out." you know... like a moron. So I looked for bralettes, thought about wearing a sweater, but decided, "No." I always wear sweaters, and it doesn't seem like a risky dress to a lot of people but I'm self-conscious about a lot of things including the size of my breasts and the way my back looks in the light of day. But I decided I would try and tape my boobs. And if you've been keeping up you should be able to guess that it just didn't go well. One was all right. The other... not so much. But I have nice friends who didn't make me feel weird about sagging at brunch and the older I get, the more I realize that's really all I need. Good people who let me be who I am and don't comment on it.
I bought another dress to wear today... it's a wrap dress. It has flowers all over it, which is an aesthetic I'm into right now. It's really pretty. It caught the wind and blew open while I was walking out to the parking lot for lunch. I Marilyn Monroed an entire parking lot.
Two fails. One Birthday.
Here's to 31. I really hope it's as good to me as 30 was.
Comments
Post a Comment