How to Feel Less Like a Grown Up.

Because growing up is overrated.

It's been recently pointed out to me, by multiple people whose opinions of me vary from highly favorable (dare I say love) to strong dislike (frankly disgust may be the word), that I'm an adult. 

The people who like me think I've got it pretty together. One of these Confession Tuesdays I might talk about how long it takes me to fully do a load of laundry (this includes washing, drying, folding, putting away, btw) and just undo all those good feelings. 

The person who disapproves of me told me I was pathetic for doing the things I'm doing now. Specifically, things like run around with all these new friends I have who are a bit younger. True, some are 18, but some are 22, 24, some are my age, some are older. My friend who pulled me into this wonderfully weird world full of younger people, has had similar things said to her by those who think they're experts because they do more grown up things like have babies, mortgages, and bedtimes. 

Motivations aside, both parties agree I'm an adult. And I like being a grown up person sometimes, I really do. Inevitably, we'll all grow up, and at some point we'll all actually give in to it. There are plenty of times when I'm afraid of my own shadow--whenever I see myself in business attire because, even though my shoes are fabulous, it's so professional, or when I balance my checking account in my Excel file because basic math is Basic, or when I put eye cream on because I'm in my late-twenties AND it's just a good idea because you don't rub a whole lot of cream under your eyes or on your eyelids and that skin needs it!!, or when I repeatedly deny a Facebook friend request from a dog because I just can't--there's still plenty of things I see myself doing and hear myself saying that make me feel like a child. Things like:

1. Eating kids meals I'm a vegetarian. There aren't always lots of options for me on every menu but there will always be a grilled cheese somewhere on the kids menu. PLUS, you get so many other things with a kids meal. Grownups have to debate over appetizers, entrees, are we getting a dessert, and after 20 minutes of deliberating over a huge menu, you start to sweat because that server does not look as friendly as they did when you got that glass of wine.

The kids menu solves these problems for you! You get a nicely proportioned meal, main course, side of some sort, and a tiny dessert. All the things! You can have all the things!

2. Staying up all night to finish a book I still feel the need to turn the lights out and read under the covers with a flashlight like I'm breaking the rules. But it's 3 a.m. and my imagination is more alive than it ever will be during the day and there is no way I'll be able to sleep if I don't know how it ends. Even if it's a cliffhanger, there can be no pages left. 

3. Wearing jewelry that turns my fingers green Like a classy lady. I don't have the money to buy the real stuff. Even if I could, how do you go about insuring things like that? And there is no way I would wear something insured! I have a friend who gets to borrow some amazing stuff because her family are people (I know what I said), and I get nervous just being around her in that much money. I would kill myself if I ever lost something important or broke something unbreakable, as I am prone to do. All my accessories come from Forever 21 and Claire's and probably always will.

4. Getting sloppy plastered with my friends All night drinking is a young man's game. I don't drink that often as it is. It's a strange week if I have a beer every night. I usually only drink wine a few times a week if I have it and sometimes I don't. So when I make plans to overdo it with my friends, it always feels amazing! Not always the next day, but the morning's a long way off. Tonight we are wild and young, irresponsible and we drink! And laugh way too loud, eat all the Chinese food, and fall asleep in the middle of a gibberish sentence. 

5. Taking a dance recess All you need is you, your music, and a little lack of self control. Letting go of those pesky little feelings that tell you you look anything other than fabulous right now. I can't really give you a framework for this, all I can say is it usually happens when I hear a song I really love or when I need it. No joke, as I started writing this, I stood up and "danced" to a song by Parachute (who I'm freaking obsessed with these days! Will Anderson's voice is like velvet!). I'm not a good dancer when I'm alone in my room, there's lots of hair flipping since there's so much of it, but that's the point. I'd never dance like that in front of most people, not cute, but so therapeutic. 

6. Freaking out over a boy band My prevailing love of 90's music is deeply intertwined with the dance recess. I was talking "boy bands" with one of my 18 year old friends (I use the air bunnies because I don't think I can count One Direction) and it resulted in me spending an evening listening to all my old favorites and turning our friends Facebook feeds into the way I would have used Facebook if it were around when I was in 8th grade. I spent a whole week, this month, listening to nothing but the Spice Girls. Because they're everything, duh.

7. Ordering a milkshake See the first one, but something about milkshakes makes me feel like a kid. It's dessert and it usually comes out before the meal, and that's just crazy, right?! Grownups don't eat dessert first, and certainly not with their dinner. It makes me feel both childlike and strangely powerful to order a milkshake. Who's going to stop me? Not you Mom and Dad, not today!

8. Painting my nails As previously discussed, I love painting my nails. I used to have a huge problem with biting my nails, I did it my whole life until I was in college but when I was a kid I always wanted to have nice colors on them but they would only last an hour or so before I would chew it off like a sick sick sicko. Now I've kicked the habit and I paint them constantly. Sometimes nice colors, sometimes ridiculous over the top colors. But it always makes me giddy to shop for nail polish and pick out the most outrageous colors I can find.

9. Piercing everything I'm obsessed with piercings. Obsessed! I have 9 and can never wait to get another one. Pierce all the things!!!

10. Using pinkie promises as binding law I haven't done this in a while to be honest and that's about to change. You pinkie-promised you'd never watch The Walking Dead without me! You pinkie-promised we'd have sushi if I came with you to watch that Nicholas Sparks movie. You pinkie-promised you would never make me listen to a slow jam by any Korean band ever again!!  

There are plenty of nights when I look in the mirror and still see the painfully shy girl with a tender heart and no control over her emotions. Then other nights I see someone who's wearing just enough makeup to look the part and maybe it's dumb to think having a better income, or getting married and starting a family, or knowing what's going to happen next year is enough to make me a grown up. Maybe just thinking about it, knowing it's time to grow up but having a list of things that makes you feel ridiculous, is enough.