The Year of No Fear

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I'm terrified.

Tonight is the last night before the rest of my life. Tomorrow I graduate. Again. Three years ago I graduated with my BA in Psychology and tomorrow night I graduate with my MA in Criminal Justice and everything changes.

This year, my New Year's Resolution was to do new things; things I've wanted to do for a while, impulsive things, things that scare me. I'm comfortable with my life as it is so it doesn't take much to be part of those categories. This year I've gone to Vegas on a vacation with friends, started collecting coffee mugs from Starbucks, and gone on a plane by myself (twice!) among others.

Tomorrow marks the end and the beginning. The program that has consumed my life for the last two years is over. I'll wear my square-shaped mortarboard, my name might be mispronounced, and I'll get my diploma. And in 10 weeks it will actually come in the mail. The past five years of my education have been spent at ASU. I know that school. I like that school. I'll miss it.

I made the choice a long time ago to continue my education; to get a Ph.D. and I chose not to apply here, here being Arizona. And in August I will leave. For the first time since 1996. To pursue my passion at the University of Texas at El Paso and join the Legal Psychology department as a student.

I'm terrified. Of tomorrow. Of my choices. Of the spray tan I just used on my legs because I don't know if it's going to streak and my dress is pretty short.

The year of no fear has become...really scary. So I started a blog. I love to write and I need a way to keep in touch with people when I move.

In my end is my beginning. T.S. Eliot wrote that. I think he's right.

Comments

  1. KristiMay 19, 2010 at 7:42 AM

    It's scary, but it is also fun. It will be worth it. By "it" I mean the blog. El Paso I'm not so sure about. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. EmilyMay 19, 2010 at 8:44 AM

    Its always exciting and scary at the same time to try new things. I hope Texas will be great for you.

    ReplyDelete

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