Christmas in New York: Stephen. Merchant.

If I'm being honest, and I'm always honest, today was the day I came to New York for.

I am a huge nerd.

I planned a trip to New York around Stephen Merchant's New York tour date. Nerd. This guy.

For whatever reason, and I really mean that because I honestly don't remember how it happened, but this year I have become entirely infatuated with Stephen Merchant. He's a British writer, actor, comedian, writing partner of Ricky Gervais, co-writer of the Office and Extras, and I like him. And earlier in the year I saw him on a late show talking about his stand up tour and the one date he was doing in New York and then when it was time to plan my Christmas trip I knew I would go while Stephen Merchant was on tour.

Having done the trip and come back to Phoenix for Christmas I would have preferred to go to New York after Christmas, before going back to Texas for the semester. But then I would have missed Stephen Merchant. I feel like even if I met him, I would still call him Stephen Merchant.

But more on Stephen Merchant later.

Today, I went to Central Park. My first day, I walked down 5th Avenue as far as the Plaza and didn't go into the park. But today I wanted to walk around and I went straight in. Last time I was here I was afraid to go very far in because I didn't want to get lost or killed and eaten by a homeless person. But today, I had time so I went straight in and wandered around and it was so great! I love parks and Central park is sort of like magic. The city is so noisy and as soon as you get in the park it's gone. It's amazing! The park is quiet and peaceful, just the sounds of the horse-drawn carriages, random musicians, and people jogging. It's a nice change from being on the street. Not just that you're in a park, but you're there almost by yourself. There are tons of people around but comparatively, you're practically alone.

There was ice skating set up there as well. I think that's nice of New York to provide so many places to do that. If I hadn't had the Mom's words of advice about ice skating I would have definitely tried in Central Park. But I wandered around, my main goal of being in the park to find the boathouse. You know what I'm talking about. And in my search I came across a big staircase that overlooks the lake and has a nice fountain. It's a beautiful part of the park. Underneath the stairs is a room that is absolutely gorgeous and there was a group of guys singing a capella and selling cd's. The acoustics were amazing and they were pretty good. I walked around to try and get a good picture and came across a sign that said, no singing, no musical instruments, no noise in Bethesda Terrace.

Apparently you can't make noise in Bethesda Terrace.

Bethesda Terrace! The heart of Central Park. And I just stumbled on it. That's what I love about Central Park and New York in general. It was then that I thought even if I lived here I could spend the rest of my life just stumbling around and finding things at random and still never see the whole city. What an adventure that would be, eh?

It wasn't long after that, that I found the boathouse. Again, by stumbling. If I had gone in the other direction, turned left instead of right, I would still be wanting to see it. But I found it! It wasn't as exciting as I thought because there was no one boating, probably because it was so cold, but there was a guy dressed in Victorian era clothes singing Christmas songs along to a recording of, probably, himself playing the piano. I guess that could be exciting. He was just alright.

Eventually I found myself at the other end of the park, and I know I still haven't seen most of it. If you look at the website for Central Park, there are so many places and landmarks, and bridges and lakes, and all kinds of things to see and experience and I've barely skimmed the surface. I had every intention of going back through but I got a text from Monica to meet for lunch so I made my way out and to a train station.

Where I waited for a train forever. Not all of them were running and I couldn't find a station with the one I needed so I took one that could transfer but I was super late by the time I got to Madison Square Garden. I felt horrible because she was on her lunch break from work and I'm always late when I need to be somewhere, but we went to a place across the street from her work where we had delicious sandwiches and lovely conversation. I've decided I like visiting friends where they live. She took me into her office building to show me how it was decorated for Christmas and it was extra beautiful. And then she went back to work and I wandered back outside.

To the park to look at the Flatiron Building. I'm not an architect but it may be my favorite building in the world. It's so weird! And so gorgeous! The entire street comes to a point like a triangle and it just fits in like one of those toys I played with as a kid when we'd go to the dentist. I didn't know where to go from there, so I went down the street and saw a place to buy souvenirs so I went in and got some stuff for the family and me. I got a "I heart NY" magnet for my fridge, postcards for Erin, New York collectible spoon for my parents, and a keychain that says "New York is for lovers" for Kelly. Nothing huge, nothing really special. I do like the magnet though.

From there I decided to go down to the site of the World Trade Center.

When I say I wander, I mean it.

It's a weird sensation going into the subway and it being light outside and coming out of the subway and it being dark. But it was really fun to see it down there all lit up. It was also rush hour and Port Authority is right next to it so it's a bit like being a salmon. Even if you're going the right way, you're in the middle of an insane crowd, all with briefcases, all talking on the phone. But I got some great pictures of One World Trade Center and then had to go back to Times Square for Stephen Merchant!!

As I was descending into the station, a girl coming up the stairs told me there was an accident on the tracks and if I could take any other train but the R or get to where I was going without using the train, I should. I decided to brave it. And had trouble getting my metro card to work so I missed the train and had to wait for the next one. The one I missed was insanely packed! It looked like that picture of the subways in Japan where people are smushed up against the doors because there are so many other people in the car with them. After 10 or 15 minutes, the next train came and it was practically empty. Yay! I got to sit down, no one was standing holding the rail above me with their crotch in my face, I wasn't standing. I'm pretty good at it now, but I still get caught off guard by turns or stopping. The train in Phoenix moves maybe 100 miles slower and I would still stumble if I were standing when it pulled in to a station.

I had a book with me so I just walked to Town Hall to wait for Stephen Merchant, the show, not him. It started to rain on the way over there but it was a quick walk and not an especially long wait. Without knowing it, I had leaned on the door they were ushering people into so I got in first. Awesome! Found my seat quickly and tried not to geek out outside of my body. It was a rager in my head, but I didn't want anyone else to know that. I actually had a pretty good seat. I was in the balcony but right in the front row so I could see everything no problem. There was a couple, a man and a woman, sitting in the seats across the aisle from me and a very odd guy walked in and asked if I was sitting in his seat. He had the same seat as me just on the opposite side of the aisle. There were still 4 open seats in our row, but he made the couple move so he could have the seat he had on his ticket. He was a bit off that one. I like looking at the different audiences drawn to different kinds of shows. There's definitely something different about each one, and it's fun for me to watch. Like in this audience, there was this guy, there was a girl who was up in the balcony with me but stood up and screamed to be chosen for audience participation (she wasn't picked, we were on the balcony crazy!!), and there were women in the front row who I would imagine were looking at Stephen Merchant with vacant stare-y eyes and butcher knives in their bags to force him to marry them.

This next bit is embarrassing but whatever. It's my blog, and I think 3 people read it so it's not even a big deal to admit this. But I got way star struck when he came out on stage. He made an announcement introducing the opening act, but every time I've heard him it's been radio interviews or on t.v. so that may have put me back in the mindset that he wasn't really here. But when they introduced him and he came out on stage my reaction makes me think maybe I didn't believe he was real. I was stunned. And I've met some really famous people, had normal conversations with them, hugged them (yeah! Celebrity hugger, this guy!). But seeing Stephen Merchant after looking forward to seeing his tour for most of the year was a ridiculous moment for me. I could barely clap for him because I was still so shocked that there was actually a person there doing a weird dance in a shirt his parents gave him for Christmas with a picture of them on it and hat that says "Intensity" stamped onto a piece of metal and riveted to the front of it.

I'm just glad I didn't cry.

I did say I was a nerd right?

But it was worth it! It was so much fun! I've never been to see live stand up comedy which is weird since I love it so much! The show really lived up to all the hype it's been getting. He called the tour "Hello Ladies" and talked about how he can't find a wife and troubles he's had with love and dating. It was pretty hilarious in a "glad-it's-you-and-not-me" kind of way. He's self-deprecating, pedantic, slightly misogynistic and elitist, but I loved it. It was well written and super hilarious! I'm so glad I was able to go!!

It was over way too soon! But before I knew it, the audience participation section, where two audience members acted out a play he had written in junior high, was over, "Boom! Shake the Room!" was playing and I was walking back out to the street where a frighteningly large crowd was beginning to form. This is another situation where I would have liked having someone with me. I would have waited to make sure he was really really real, but since I was on my own I didn't want to be that guy who was alone and just wanted a hug.

It was my last day in New York.

And that really was the perfect end.

I walked back to my hotel in the rain, got some Tim Hortons coffee and donuts, and rather than pack fell asleep due to a massive headache no doubt brought on by my coffee/donut diet. I woke up around 1 a.m. and decided I could get everything packed in the morning and I should just go back to sleep and naturally lay awake until I decided to get up. I did doze on and off until 4 a.m. but was waking up too often to really be getting any rest so I got up and packed.

I love New York. I had a great time this trip! It was short but it felt like the right amount of time, until I get home and want to go back right away! It's addicting!!

It's one of my favorite places in the world and I'm so glad I had the chance to go back.

I love New York.

A few pictures from the day:

Tons from Central Park.