Confess and Choke On It!
I have lunch with my friends every now and then because we're friends and that's what you do with friends. You have lunch. And there's one constant you can count on if you ever eat with me. So the thing is...
Confession: I choke at least once during every meal.
I could expand this to include every time I eat anything. I've had a few close calls with gum.
While I was having lunch with some girlfriends last week, they noticed. How could they not? I took a normal sized bite of my Falafel and then gasped like I was coming up for air after being underwater for a while. I ate with a guy friend of mine, and he did not notice. I was really concerned that that was going to be the one that got me too. I had to tell him to pay attention because I had 3 very concerning blockages during the same taco. But we've watched "30 Rock" together so he knows that I know that you're supposed to fall on the counter to save yourself if you're alone and choking.
Apparently, when we have lunch I will be alone and choking.
But seriously. I'm a grown ass man and this choking thing gets worse as I get older. It should lessen, right? It should get easier to eat food, but it doesn't. I take small bites, I chew for a long time to make sure everything's good and broken down, but somehow, some part of my bite will just start to wander towards the back of my throat before I'm ready and try to kill me. And then I make a scene like gasping for air, or grabbing wildly at the table. Not sure how that one helps, still it's what I do.
This isn't normal, and I'm probably going to die trying to swallow some cooked pears.
What gets worse for you as you get older. Give me something good, no creaky knees or things like that! Confession Tuesday is a thing!
Confession: I choke at least once during every meal.
I could expand this to include every time I eat anything. I've had a few close calls with gum.
While I was having lunch with some girlfriends last week, they noticed. How could they not? I took a normal sized bite of my Falafel and then gasped like I was coming up for air after being underwater for a while. I ate with a guy friend of mine, and he did not notice. I was really concerned that that was going to be the one that got me too. I had to tell him to pay attention because I had 3 very concerning blockages during the same taco. But we've watched "30 Rock" together so he knows that I know that you're supposed to fall on the counter to save yourself if you're alone and choking.
Apparently, when we have lunch I will be alone and choking.
But seriously. I'm a grown ass man and this choking thing gets worse as I get older. It should lessen, right? It should get easier to eat food, but it doesn't. I take small bites, I chew for a long time to make sure everything's good and broken down, but somehow, some part of my bite will just start to wander towards the back of my throat before I'm ready and try to kill me. And then I make a scene like gasping for air, or grabbing wildly at the table. Not sure how that one helps, still it's what I do.
This isn't normal, and I'm probably going to die trying to swallow some cooked pears.
What gets worse for you as you get older. Give me something good, no creaky knees or things like that! Confession Tuesday is a thing!
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