Lazy Confes...

I hate working out. If it weren't for my overactive imagination, I would weigh 900 lbs.

I eat fairly healthy (if there are cupcakes or popcorn I'll eat all of them, but that's a work in progress thing. Maybe related to my age...hmmm...do you think eating all of someone else's birthday cupcakes and not asking if anyone else wanted the last one is a thing of youth? Will I grow up and out of that in my 30's? That seems too soon...maybe in my 50's? I might have kids by then, maybe I'd share with them. No, you're right, I especially wouldn't share with them. They get everything else, why should they have my cupcakes I made for them on their birthday? What were we talking about?)

I eat fairly healthy. I drink plenty of water, have a naturally low-sodium diet because I'm a vegetarian (unless you count popcorn, but it's corn and that is a vegetable so no we can't count popcorn), I eat lots of fruit and granola, eating really isn't the problem. But we will have a problem if you tell me fruits and veggies are snacks. Um, no they are not. Hey, why don't you eat a mango for a snack? Hey, why don't I eat a bullet instead? Give me some nachos or something.

This has gone in a completely different direction than I thought it would when I started. I'm not sure what happened or if I should apologize. This was an internal monologue nestled inside of the internal monologue--I just Inception-ed you guys!!

Point is. I eat well, but need to workout to keep blood rushing around in my body and to stay alive or something. But I hate it so much. It's so boooooorrrring!!! And haaaard... and I'd just rather sleep or read a book you know.

Confession: To motivate me during a work out I have to act out a fantasy of some kind.

My favorite is when I'm running from zombies because the apocalypse has happened and rule #1 is cardio. Right? I don't have to outrun the zombie, I just have to outrun you. And I totally will because I push people straight into the waiting jaws of a dead guy 3 times a week in my head. No way could I run 3 miles on a treadmill for no reason. Ugh. SOOOOOOOOOOOO boring! But if it's because zombies are after me, then I can do it. And something upbeat plays in the background of the zombie apocalypse because of course it will be set to music. Something like 'We Run the Night' by Havana Brown or really anything you would hear in a zumba class.

I don't really have any revenge or life saving fantasies for yoga, which I do way more often than run but it's not really a revengeful sport. It's more a mental game. But I am super flexible so if I ever need to like follow a cat burglar through a laser maze, I'm ready.

Come on! Confess! We all have a fantasy life that comes out in the weirdest moments! I mean, don't we? Guys...

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Apple Streusel Cupcakes.

Everything I Need to Know I Learned from Holiday Movies

Quick, Quick.