Words That Make Me Uncomfortable and Other Confessions Tuesday...
I love words. Words have power. Words matter. Words are everything. And some of them are super gross.
Everyone is already thinking about the word "moist." I know you are. And if you weren't, you are now.
To be perfectly honest though, I don't really hate a lot of words. I like words. Not many hit my ear wrong the way they do to other people. I have no problem with "moist." I can hear someone describe some brownies as "moist" and grab one to eat. I even like awful words because they evoke so much emotion. Words like "congeal" or "squirt," "secrete," "vomit" they all make you think of that thing, or a time when you barfed and it was awful, or something else that you don't need to share with us even though it's Confession Tuesday...
... so I started thinking which words instead make me uncomfortable. And here's my very small list.
1. Hubby. Dear God, why? Why does anyone ever use this horrible awful term?! This is an example of a word that not only makes me uncomfortable, but definitely hits my ear wrong when someone says it, and my eyes wrong when every single day I see it typed out on Facebook. Guess what guys?! There's a perfectly good English word for your male spouse and it's husband. I don't have anything against love and marriage, what I do have a problem with are terms of endearment that sound like they could be actual pet names, "snookums," "honeybunny," "bumblebee." Just stop. Hubby and any other form (i.e. "hubs" or the worst one of all "hubbin") should be banned from the English language.
2. Slurp. I'm less a fan of the act itself than the actual word. But the response I get when someone uses the word is pretty visceral. I hate slurping. I'm normally really good at tuning out unwanted sounds, I can sit through a movie with someone talking a few rows away and it won't bother me, white noise is no problem, but slurping. If you want to see my eyes bug out of my head. I think because it's intermittent. It's loud, then it's soft, then it's long, then you're choking, or something is dribbling down your chin, I can't take it. And the word brings all that up for me.
3. Jowls. Try and say this word with a smile. It's impossible! The construction of this word makes you automatically frown and if you fight nature and force a smile while you say it, you end up with this awkward full face sneer. And it makes me think of drool. I think of dogs with big hanging jowls like their cheeks are melting from the embarrassment of having jowls and their mouths can't keep all the slobber in and there's lots of drool running onto my hands and on my jeans and I think I'm going to vomit...
4. Chunky. Even if that was the desired outcome of say, the stew, or your preferred style of peanut butter, do you really want it described as "chunky?" Do you really want anything else to be described as "chunky"?
5. Yolk. I don't know what to do with yolks when a recipe just calls for egg whites. Do you cook them right away? Can you save them for a bit? I get really nervous when a recipe only wants egg whites. Plus as a kid in church there was constant talk about being "equally yoked" in your relationships and I always thought they were the same thing, and when I was younger I thought you threw eggs at people when they got married.
So we're full circle; starting with husbands and ending with eggs. What words make you uncomfortable. There are so many. Let's hear it!
Everyone is already thinking about the word "moist." I know you are. And if you weren't, you are now.
To be perfectly honest though, I don't really hate a lot of words. I like words. Not many hit my ear wrong the way they do to other people. I have no problem with "moist." I can hear someone describe some brownies as "moist" and grab one to eat. I even like awful words because they evoke so much emotion. Words like "congeal" or "squirt," "secrete," "vomit" they all make you think of that thing, or a time when you barfed and it was awful, or something else that you don't need to share with us even though it's Confession Tuesday...
... so I started thinking which words instead make me uncomfortable. And here's my very small list.
1. Hubby. Dear God, why? Why does anyone ever use this horrible awful term?! This is an example of a word that not only makes me uncomfortable, but definitely hits my ear wrong when someone says it, and my eyes wrong when every single day I see it typed out on Facebook. Guess what guys?! There's a perfectly good English word for your male spouse and it's husband. I don't have anything against love and marriage, what I do have a problem with are terms of endearment that sound like they could be actual pet names, "snookums," "honeybunny," "bumblebee." Just stop. Hubby and any other form (i.e. "hubs" or the worst one of all "hubbin") should be banned from the English language.
2. Slurp. I'm less a fan of the act itself than the actual word. But the response I get when someone uses the word is pretty visceral. I hate slurping. I'm normally really good at tuning out unwanted sounds, I can sit through a movie with someone talking a few rows away and it won't bother me, white noise is no problem, but slurping. If you want to see my eyes bug out of my head. I think because it's intermittent. It's loud, then it's soft, then it's long, then you're choking, or something is dribbling down your chin, I can't take it. And the word brings all that up for me.
3. Jowls. Try and say this word with a smile. It's impossible! The construction of this word makes you automatically frown and if you fight nature and force a smile while you say it, you end up with this awkward full face sneer. And it makes me think of drool. I think of dogs with big hanging jowls like their cheeks are melting from the embarrassment of having jowls and their mouths can't keep all the slobber in and there's lots of drool running onto my hands and on my jeans and I think I'm going to vomit...
4. Chunky. Even if that was the desired outcome of say, the stew, or your preferred style of peanut butter, do you really want it described as "chunky?" Do you really want anything else to be described as "chunky"?
5. Yolk. I don't know what to do with yolks when a recipe just calls for egg whites. Do you cook them right away? Can you save them for a bit? I get really nervous when a recipe only wants egg whites. Plus as a kid in church there was constant talk about being "equally yoked" in your relationships and I always thought they were the same thing, and when I was younger I thought you threw eggs at people when they got married.
So we're full circle; starting with husbands and ending with eggs. What words make you uncomfortable. There are so many. Let's hear it!
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